Pages

Monday, November 29, 2010

honoring a sacrifice

School starts on Thursday. I am enjoying a quiet night; the baby finally quieted down in his crib and the newly decorated tree is all lit up beside me. I have a lot on my mind, despite the stillness of the house. I have been thinking about painting.  My family makes such sacrifices in supporting my efforts to paint. We own a small three bedroom house and all four of our children sleep in one room, so I can have a place to paint. Nan is almost eight and I have been wondering if I shouldn't pack up the studio temporarily (we are going to close our carport in for a new office/studio space in the spring) and let the girls and boys have their own rooms. I have been thinking of what happened the last time I had a show (Feb 2008 in Salt Lake). When the show ended, I didn't paint seriously again for two years. Coming into the Holiday Tour I recalled all the time that went by and tried to identify why I stopped. This is what I came up with: I had a four month old baby and my two other children were 5 and 3. My husband was finishing grad school and later that summer we moved across the country. It always takes me what seems to me to be a longer than normal time to get my bearings straight when I move (mostly socially) and there was no exception when we moved to Louisiana. My oldest child started attending public school and then I was expecting our fourth child. Pregnancy and I do not get a long well, and neither did the children left at home while Nan was away. So I had our fourth child a little over a year ago and when I decided to start school again (on the extremely slow track- one class a quarter, so I can still be at home with my little ones) I think I started to see the light at the end of the creative tunnel. Of course while in that unproductive tunnel I judged myself. I thought that if painting was important enough to me I would make it happen no matter what. Who knew that it was a necessary time for me to be attending to other things? I don't think I need to be afraid of a repeat. I am in a different place in life now than I was three years ago. The studio needs a bitter cleaning, and now that Thanksgiving break is almost over and our wonderful guests are safely in their own home again, I can attend to that. I will not temporarily pack things up, and maybe this will help speed the process of our home addition along. I will honor my family's sacrifice and paint.

7 comments:

  1. I think room sharing for siblings is a good thing. And you deserve to paint! I bet that will be exciting in the spring when you get your new studio space.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If your family is willing to sacrifice, continue painting. You deserve it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well said! I'm so glad to have you for a sister, Julie. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Families can let us know by their actions how valued we are and our paintings are. I think your family has spoken loud and clear.
    Shows are natural stopping points, and you've used this show to pause and truly think about the future.
    Now Paint!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so grateful for all your comments. I was up at 5:30 this morning and in the studio.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just tell them your painting is going to pay for their college:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha! Yeah, as long as their college education consists solely of summer sports camps!!

    ReplyDelete

Commenting on this post will make you wise, young and beautiful.